


Your Voice Amidst the Noise

by incielum



Category: F4 Thailand (TV), F4 Thailand (TV) RPF, Thai Actor RPF, เพราะเราคู่กัน | 2gether: The Series (Thailand TV), เพราะเราคู่กัน | 2gether: The Series (Thailand TV) RPF
Genre: BrightWin, Family, Friendship, Kind of angsty, M/M, Protect the boys, Romance if you squint, happy end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 21:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30061524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incielum/pseuds/incielum
Summary: “Up here,” Bright turned his attention to Win again, who gestured a finger to his temple, “it screams, 'give up' because everything I do will hurt the people I love the most.” The finger which he pointed to his head soon traveled to his chest and pointed to his heart. “In here, though, it says it still wants to fight. I just want both to stop arguing as much as I want everything else to leave me alone.”
Relationships: Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree & Win Metawin Opas-iamkajorn, Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree/Win Metawin Opas-iamkajorn
Kudos: 28





	Your Voice Amidst the Noise

Bright had cast a glance at the passenger seat, where Win sat still - preoccupied with the night lights of the city that they tried to escape from. He tightened his hold onto the leather cover of the wheel in front of him and fought the urge to step on the gas in hopes of getting to their destination faster. He was worried. It was, of course, rare to see his junior at such a blank state. 

Most of the time, when they chose to drive around in the evening, it would have been Win behind the steering wheel as they sped off to wherever they felt like going. No matter the distance, no matter the time - as long as they found a haven that was theirs. However, that very late evening, after hours of grueling work, it was Bright driving them to Win’s home. It was Bright who was looking for a safe space for Win.

He remembered some time back, the shock that marred Win's face as he stared at P'Eed's phone that was nestled safely into his hold. It was a mix of fear and loss. It had been a while since the last time he saw the same mood break his junior's usually bright demeanor. Bright could not remember the entire story - but the news that their manager shared was serious. Quite so that it warranted a pause of two days in production. _Safety precaution_ , they said. 

Bright recalled how Win remained silent since then until he was dropped off at the front of his building - when he said, _I think I’ll go see my family tonight._ P’Eed, whose motherly instinct kicked in the very second Win stepped off of the service, tried to convince Win to stay for the evening and to travel in the morning instead. All of them knew Win would not. Not with _that_ kind of news circulating the internet, not when it was his family’s safety on the line. 

_I’ll drive him there._ Bright, back then, held his hand up as his head popped out of the service. _I’ll drive him there._ He repeated in a tone that reassured their manager that they would both be safe. 

Not that there had been a better choice. All of them understood that as well - that it would be best that Win stayed at a gated community away from all of the whirlwind crazy that came with show business. 

_It comes with the territory,_ Bright thought to himself as he turned the corner that paved the way to the Opas-iamkajorn property, ignoring the GPS that advised him otherwise. It was a shortcut he came to memorize in the plenty of times he was invited over. 

He stole a glance at Win again, whom he thought had finally fallen asleep. Bright was wrong. Win was wide awake and he was biting his lower lip and was unconsciously playing with his fingers. His junior was anxious and he had every right to be. After all, while Bright admitted to having been used to a crowd of naysayers against him, it was an entirely different matter when family was placed into question. It was always painful to have loved ones thrown into a mess that was not even of their own. 

To Win, family was the one thing in the entire world that he wanted to protect most. 

_It comes with the territory but,_ Bright continued to muse, _shouldn’t there be a line drawn?_

They arrived at the Opas-iamkajorn home safely. Mintra, the eldest among the siblings, greeted them the moment the door swung open. To their surprise, Win held her tightly - protectively. From how she looked, she still had no idea what happened and why her younger brother was apologizing. Win remained quiet, however. Immediately, Bright knew Win decided it was best to wait until better times. Perhaps he would try in the morning.

The rest of the Mesa appeared thereafter with Mick in tow. Win hugged each of them as tightly as possible, as though they would break should he let go. Mick, when it was his turn, looked to Bright. Bright shoved his hands into his pockets and returned a shrug. 

Win straightened his posture and greeted his parents - it was a quick bow that immediately transitioned into a bear hug. Both matriarch and patriarch too were surprised, as they looked at their children and Bright.

“Have you eaten?” Win’s mother asked them as soon as Win let go. 

“We had dinner at the set, but I think Win?” Bright answered from where he stood as he gestured to his junior, who shook his head in return. 

“I’m fine.” Were the second audible set of words he heard Win say that evening.

“I, uh, better get going then.” Bright nodded and bowed for the second time. It was late after all - near midnight, even. He thought it would be best to be on his way to his own home. Where his own family waited.

Win's father spoke, "it's late, call your mother and tell her you're staying the night." He insisted firmly, yet his tone had been all yet imposing. It was fatherly. "You boys must be tired. Go up, wash, and rest."

“I’ll send some snacks to Win’s room.” Win’s mother added. 

It was difficult to believe that they knew nothing yet - perhaps that was the upside to a tightly knit family such as Win’s. His parents had their children memorized the way they knew the back of their hands well enough. 

Win whispered, “you don’t have to stay, Phi.”

And yet, Bright stayed. When he did not need to, he stayed. 

At midnight, the two boys found themselves side-by-side on Win’s bed, tucked safely under the comfort of the blanket that seemed fresh from the laundry. Bright welcomed the warmth in the spaces where his skin touched the soft cloth. It was homely amid the cold silence that they both did not dare break. Win, who claimed to have hated the silences that deafened him, became quite the expert in the art of. Bright was desperate for any sound to break it - but he knew that even the slightest drop would break Win. 

They both continued to stare at the empty ceiling, at the bulbs of light whose ambient rays did not at all dance. It was still, just as everything else was in the dark of that night. Bright could only wish that the silence would not be so deafening anymore. At least, by a little bit. 

Then Win spoke. Bright heard a crack in his junior’s voice as he did so. “I used to hate being quiet. I told you right, it feels lonely and I don’t like the feeling of being alone. That’s why at night, I look for things to keep me occupied.” 

Bright nodded, without words to respond with. He was not at all sure why the conversation began nor where it was supposed to be headed. Win, despite the persona he often showed, was not the easiest book to read. It was something Bright still had to get used to. That regardless of the amount of time they shared, he was still unable to understand his junior at the level his immediate family did.

“Now, I can’t help but look for it, you know. I guess it’s part of the nature of our job.” Win continued without so much as a glance at the person by his side. “But unlike others, I want it permanently? If you get me. I want it now more than anything else too. I don’t know if I’m weak for even thinking about it.” Win heaved a sigh. It was anything but relieved, however. “But I don’t think anyone could blame me for thinking about it, right? Not when the people I love are on the line.” 

"No, I suppose not," finally, Bright found the strength to force a few words from his throat and through his lips. What he wanted to say, although, was not as planned as he wanted it to be. "I've been there. I still am." He paused for a moment and allowed himself to think of what he wanted to say. He was the senior, after all. There should be words of wisdom somewhere hidden in the back of his mind.

“Since I was a kid, my mom would repeat: _there is never an easy day_. I've come to accept that as fact. But, believe me, I wish there is one. Maybe then bad things wouldn't be so bad. Though," Bright carefully threaded through the jumble of thoughts that danced in his head, "at least we have a choice. We can choose voices we should listen to. While the noises that we don't want to hear may seem too loud oftentimes, we have to look for _our_ sounds. Those that truly matter.” 

Win kept his quiet.

Bright apologized, “I’m rambling. I’m sorry.”

There were light vibrations that seemed to crossover from one side to another. Bright looked at Win for the umpteenth time that night. His junior just finished shaking his head - as though it was a signal that he did not mind whether or not his senior made sense. 

"How do you do it, Phi?" Win asked with his eyes cast still towards the ceiling above them. A sight Bright also returned to at the end of the question. "Seven years is a long time, how do you continue to choose what to listen to."

Bright wondered, how - indeed - did he manage to keep his sanity. Unfortunately, there were no concrete answers to the question that Win posed. There were only more thoughts and introspections that he did not need at the moment. Not when Win needed him more than he needed his self-realization. He truly only wanted to alleviate his junior of the weight that drowned him. 

“To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I can answer that.”

“Sorry,” Win chuckled, “did I pressure you? We’re still in the same age group and I’m trying to look for answers from someone who’s also still trying.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Up here,” Bright turned his attention to Win again, who gestured a finger to his temple, “it screams, _give up_ because everything I do will hurt the people I love the most.” The finger which he pointed to his head soon traveled to his chest and pointed to his heart. “In here, though, it says it still wants to fight. I just want both to stop arguing as much as I want everything else to leave me alone.”

“I think you should choose to listen to the one that whispers.”

“Why do you say that?” Win turned his head, and for the first time that evening, they looked at each other eye-to-eye. 

“Because all the noises outside were just made to intimidate you and your kind, brave heart.” Bright smiled. “They know my Nong doesn’t back down so easily.”

“That’s true, but I’m really worried about my family-”

“Come on, Metawin, so you really think your dad is going to let this all slide so easily? Honestly, I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t pull you out of the company yet.” Bright laughed for a bit. “Oh, but I hope he doesn’t though. I’ll lose my best partner.”

Win rolled his eyes, “as if. He’ll pull you out too if ever. I think he adopted you already.”

The two began to laugh heartily. Bright missed the sound of Win laughing alongside him, despite only hours in between since the last ounce of laughter they shared together. To him, there was nothing more pleasant than seeing his junior be happy. 

Moments after their laughter toned down, Bright began to speak: "but seriously, Metawin," he wore his most reassuring smile, "if and when the time comes that even you can't hear the whispers from there," he said as he pointed to Win's chest, "then listen to me, listen to the sound of my voice."

Win, in return, smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Promise?” Bright then held a pinky in midair, reminiscent of the way the first characters they portrayed did. 

"Promise." Win's smile widened and met the pinky he was offered with his own. "And if you ever feel like you're at a loss too, listen to mine. Deal?"

“Deal.”

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on a whim because I'm so saddened that young men like Win and Bright (as well as other actors/actresses) have to put up with crappy fans. I honestly hope they stay happy, healthy, and safe. 
> 
> That said, I am not entirely sure that I wrote this properly. Also, I depended on grammarly to check. I'll fix this when I'm in the mood.


End file.
